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Post by RyokoDragonez on Dec 3, 2005 11:41:06 GMT -5
Your terms are dreadfully mixed up. So don't go calling someone a hermaphrodite ^_^;; or asexual -- You could get in a bit of trouble.
Getting back on Topic:
Taimatsu - Don't give up hope. Find yourself a club or something of the like to join. Are you interested in Martial arts? Perhaps you could join an art class? Even getting a job would help you to meet people -- your co-workers and the customers. It's worth a shot. If you were to die or go missing.. I am pretty sure that the members of this board would care and notice. Your friends and family would also be devastated. Hang in there, you will make it.
--- Ryoko Dragonez
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Post by DarkfireTaimatsu on Dec 3, 2005 12:32:01 GMT -5
It'd take a while before any of my friends heard... They all live very far away...
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Post by Rehiro on Dec 3, 2005 13:54:42 GMT -5
I would say that it helps to take yourself more seriously. Its always awfully tempting to look at yourself as some huge loser, trying to accomplish something that everyone else has and will probably fail trying.
To avoid this, I sometimes narrate to myself in my head, analysing, reflecting and talking in big words about my weaknesses and having to overcome some huge challenge that has presented itself to me. How, I cant truly be defeated, because they cant kill me and they're forced to live in the same world as me and I will use my incredible skills of maipulation to succeed like all those times in the past...
Acually, I got a little carried away just there. But it helps to not think of yourself as a victim. What happens, happens and you can deal with that later. Its time to draw up plans and make action. These obsticles just make it all more interesting. Victory will taste all that much sweeter when you realize what you have accomplished and how far you had to rise to accomplish it.
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Post by DarkfireTaimatsu on Dec 3, 2005 18:32:40 GMT -5
Thanks, you guys. I feel almost better. Exalts all around.
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Post by Scarecrow on Dec 3, 2005 19:18:40 GMT -5
Personally, I'm PROUD of being a loser!
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Post by Zolah on Dec 3, 2005 19:53:47 GMT -5
I dont se myself as a loser, more like a gigantic geek that is very good of the arts of finding bad life experiance =_=
I got some updates on the internet guy - i have asked him why so many rp girls knew his real life name - it ended with him telling me that he had found a girl he liked, but he didnt love her. I wrote why he didnt be honest about it, then he claimed to PMed it to me and thet he loved me while he just liked her. I said i was sad about he was dishonest, and bit mad about going out with someone he didnt love. then he said hewould stop going with her, then i said that he should... and alot of gibberish about why and how much he loved me... and that he didnt want to feel alone that he needed somewhat someone to hold ( i dunno, but in my register i would takle that as cheating. ) i also told him i was gonna leave my boyfriend just to be with him with aclean consience. buut... he claimed i never said that ( i even got it on my log.. ) - he basiacly continued saying he loved my and using my real life name... so it ended that i felt like my heart was crushed between two barriers, isnt awfull how some people succeds to come so close your heart and you cant trust them... what the heck shall i do.. i cant just bann him, then i would feel like amosnter especially after the ' i will always love you even if you hate me and leave me' he also used ' it will never work, we will never meet each other it was just a nice dream that we both knew that we wouldnt suceed to do.' but it also ended up with that he said that he loved me etc! hate hate hate... i feel both like im used and being a pig!
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Post by Rehiro on Dec 3, 2005 20:48:30 GMT -5
I dont know Zolah... this guy sounds kind of annoying... i'd wager hes taking advantage of you.
And I think that if your genuinely content with your life and who you are, your not a loser.
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Post by Scarecrow on Dec 3, 2005 21:11:42 GMT -5
I agree with Rehiro... On both accounts.
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Post by Zolah on Dec 4, 2005 6:03:15 GMT -5
I could try to push him back, Ive done it once before... so he just got a 'friend status' The thing that makes it really hard for me is when he uses my irl name! its like a curse or something.... =_=
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Post by RyokoDragonez on Dec 4, 2005 14:59:54 GMT -5
Another point. If you cannot stand hearing him say your IRL name... are you sure it is a good idea to consider dating someone you cannot handle hearing your name from? (Or is it you just dislike your IRL name? ....I am currently in the process of getting a legal name change because I -hate- my RL name X.x... but that's off-topic)
--- Ryoko Dragonez
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Post by DarkfireTaimatsu on Dec 4, 2005 15:59:45 GMT -5
^-^ Loads of my friends hate their real names... But you're the first I know to actually do that. Loopy wants to as soon as she turns eighteen, but her mum won't let her change it to what she wants.
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Post by Zolah on Dec 4, 2005 16:39:13 GMT -5
I do hate my irl name i think it so darn bimbo like XP, but somehow its harder to take distance when he says it... how shall i explain?
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Post by lysinias on Dec 4, 2005 17:12:19 GMT -5
Are you saying it's hard to tell him no and distance yourself from him when he uses your irl name? I thought that was what you meant....
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Post by Zolah on Dec 4, 2005 17:21:45 GMT -5
Yes, it feels much more personal somehow
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Post by silverwolf on Dec 9, 2005 14:45:59 GMT -5
Well, if you love him, shouldn't things he says be personal? I can be a tad mean sometimes too, sorry.
Anyway, the last thing I want right now is a 'real-life' relationship. I'm perfectly happy with my fantasies.
For eveyone else's problems(if you're easily offended, please skip this. I tend to over analyze people and make them hate me.); Zolah: Your IRL boyfriend seems to try to gain your pity and love by crying and acting helpless, your online boyfriend seems to be an ass who wants sympathy and to feel important. Maybe the problem is actually that you want to 'save' them. You may not realize it, but I have friends(and a sister) who tried to attract boys that they could 'help' and 'save' by making their problems go away. It seems that you're a bit insecure about yourself, and want to attract others who are also insecure in an attempt to make your self feel better, more secure. I recomend taking some time off, literally getting away f rom everything for a week. Go on vacation, relax, and take a step back to look at everything. Don't contact either boyfriend.
Tai: You also seem a tad insecure. Your baseball feilds make me happy though. If you want to acheive the first one, here's a few steps; 1. Go to the mall, trust me on this. 2. Relax 3. walk around, go into interesting and favorite stores 4. find a girl who's shopping alone, and make eye contact. 5. Don't follow her, by any means. She probably won't leave for a while. 6. Next time you see her, give a little wave. She'll recognize you from before, smile, and wave back. 7. Initiate conversation. This is the hard one. You can start up with "Hi." or "Do you shop here often?" Honestly, she'll be happy giving one-word answers until she's more comfortable.
Remember, I'm NO relationship expert. I'm just a girl, and that seems to be the most comfortable way to ease into friendship. Just talk, invite her to join you, take her to the food court. Nothing needs to be elaborate, and you may need to try a couple times before it works, especially step 6.
Rehiro: As far as I can tell, and I'm pretty good at reading people, There's nothing wrong with you. You and I may be kindred spirits. You know you description of how you feel when someone tries to initiate relationship stuff? Yeah, me too. Except, instead of losing feeling in my arms, I lose feeling in my whole body and my brain stops working. Then, all I'm capable of is looking at someone with an expression that reads "Are you effin' crazy?"
So, if I forgot anybody who wants my advice and doesn't hate me yet, just notify me. I'll try to over-analyze you.
EDIT: 'k, I'm a horrible person. I just want to apologize for this post. I was being a horrible horrible {WORD DELETED: Not fit for human ears!}. Sorry for the horribleness of this post. It's only the posts that reply to it that make it anybetter.
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Post by RyokoDragonez on Dec 9, 2005 15:03:23 GMT -5
Erm... if someone 'made eye contact' with me in the mall. I would look away. If, later on they came up to me and started asking questions about my habits... I would become -very- creeped out and probably bolt (Or sick my brother on them).
A more appropriate question would be "Oh wow. I love your shoes/skirt/etc! Where did you get them? ... I think my sister/mother would like a pair like that~!". Then let her decide if she wants the conversation to continue. If her reply is short and seems to snub you off.. then leave her be, she isn't ready for a relationship (or already has one... or just doesn't want to talk). If her replies are warm and friendly... keep talking ^^.
Advise from me, a girl who has too many people staring at her X.x
--- Ryoko Dragonez
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Post by silverwolf on Dec 9, 2005 15:55:09 GMT -5
Yay for extended answers! Thanks for the extra. that's why I put that 'wave' step in. if a girl is creeped out then she'll probably just leave when he waves at her. trial and error, man, trial and error.
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Post by Zolah on Dec 9, 2005 16:03:55 GMT -5
It sounds like a great idea, but I dont really have anywhere to go.. I have somewhat called of the relationships with my friends since they dont really care for me anymore and i hate their 'sneekyness' and that im only appropriate if I am jujst infront of their faces... and I cant travel anywhere since, i dont have anyone to travel too ( ok, now i feel like this is starting to sound like ' oh gee, be sorry for me..' im sorry if I sound like that )
Well, I got one near friend that is still by my side but she is travelling home to her family in germany with another friend of her (it hurt abit since she said once that she wanted me to come to her ) - Ive also talked to a psykologist now. It wasnt too satisfying
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Post by silverwolf on Dec 9, 2005 16:10:32 GMT -5
Oh, wow. That would hurt. Maybe you could go somewhere by yourself?
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Post by Zolah on Dec 9, 2005 16:17:37 GMT -5
But where? I am 18 but I would still need to know where i would travel? I live in a village in south sweden in the middle of 3 mountains, there exist snow.. more snow.. and some ice and extra snow. I could travel to my uncle in south sweden but that have to wait until the summer.... ( and my uncle is a bit special... )
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Post by Scarecrow on Dec 9, 2005 22:39:25 GMT -5
Hhmmmm...
A touch off topic... But...
Excellent news! I like this guy in one of my classes, and we're both into poetry, and he's really deep and somewhat dark, but he's got a great sense of humor... AND he's really nice. He's a really great guy... But one of my friends seems to think of my rushes as 'random,' and thinks I should stay away from him.
Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions?
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Post by Zolah on Dec 10, 2005 6:53:04 GMT -5
Hmm, I think you should not think to much about what your friends think you should do. Do whats feels rigth for you, If you feel that he is intresting you could atleast end up as friend with him if you dont want to go further.
I say, Go girl!
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Post by RyokoDragonez on Dec 10, 2005 14:10:57 GMT -5
Do your friends have any reason to tell you to stay away from him? Perhaps they know something about him that you do not?
...
Talk to them. Ask them what their reasons are for saying this. (Can't hurt to have background information on the guy, right?)
--- Ryoko Dragonez
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Post by Rehiro on Dec 10, 2005 15:08:05 GMT -5
Sounds like an opportune moment to make that one progressive step that I never took. You should probably find out why people think you shouldnt be together, but the answer shouldnt concern you too much unless the reason is really good.
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Post by Scarecrow on Dec 10, 2005 22:24:17 GMT -5
Thanks guys!
I actually spoke to my friend... And she said she thought that it just seemed random, and he was apparently unlike anybody else I've ever liked, and that it was very, very unexpected.
And I do see him as a friend as well... We've been exchanging poetry for a while now. He's a very inspiring peron, really...
On a sidenote, my bestest best friend agrees with me, and says he seems like a great guy.
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Post by Wolfy on Dec 11, 2005 20:06:18 GMT -5
i say go for it!
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Post by Scarecrow on Dec 13, 2005 18:44:29 GMT -5
^^Zooks hurrah! Zooks haroosh!
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Post by antonious on Dec 13, 2005 18:55:06 GMT -5
What should a shy, private guy do to meet girls? I'm very anti-social but am really a nice guy accordig to those that know me. The main thing is that I'm self concious and afraid what people will say about my appearance. I'm about 6 foot and 260lbs. I'm not fat or anything but I'm a huge guy and sometimes dont know my own strength and hurt people accidently. Any advice?
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Post by Daybreak on Dec 13, 2005 20:45:44 GMT -5
Antonious gets a random exalt! Because.. uh... his name reminds me of Tony!
As to your question... you sound like the "big teddy bear" type. Trust me, this is a good thing. You just need to work on initializing contact. Start out with the small stuff - a compliment, a question (not too personal!) - and don't try too hard. Trust me, there's nothing scarier than some big guy hitting on you out of the blue. Relax, it's a normal conversation, don't try to make it into a "conversation with a GIRL!"
If you're in a circumstance where you see girls regularly (school, for example), try building on the things you have in common from there. About the hurting people thing... I wouldn't worry. You don't want to be too pysical with a girl you're just meeting, anyways (see above comment about getting hit on). I know my approach is kind of slow and laid-back, but I'm afraid that's all I got. Hope someone else can give you some more pointers!
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Post by DarkfireTaimatsu on Dec 13, 2005 21:35:50 GMT -5
*steals 50% of that advice, as 50% of that description applies to him*
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