Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

[Stonestrike]

Instead of explaining the rules, I'll demonstrate.

Topicmasteh32:
I wish I had a million dollars

CaPsLoCk:
Granted but the value of a dollar has been lowered and therefore the amount of money you have is the equivalent of what 1.00$ used to be.

I wish I had a license to kill

wtfman:
Granted, but everyone but you is now invincible.

I wish I could drink as much beer as I want and never get drunk.

And so on. Let's begin!

I wish I had a big screen TV.

[Shippo_no_Neko]

It comes without a cord.

I wish I could have my cake and eat it, too.

[Stonestrike]

Granted, but cake tastes like dirt from now on.

I wish that I could teleport wherever I want.

[Eclectic Replicant]

Granted, but every time you do it you end up inside a wall or a prison.


I wish i could fly.

[Dundee]

Granted, but the air is so polluted that you'll sooner die of asphyxiation than get the chance to fly.

I wish I had a candy shop.

[Daggertooth]

Granted, But all the candy contains Potassium Benzoate.


I'll make a wish that can't backfire. I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, -and- I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?


Daggertooth

[Eclectic Replicant]

Granted, but the "samich" was made by Mc Donnalds, so, you die anyway.

I wish i had a robot Jesus.

[magicklorelai]

Granted, but now you have to put up with being "saved".

I wish I could get to a healthy weight. (^^; This isn't self pity. So ya know.)

[Daggertooth]

Granted. The National definition of a "healthy weight" has now been altered to fit exactly what you currently are.

I wish for a lifetime supply of cheese. Preserved and shrinkwraped in a way that I don't need to worry about mold or decay or other sorts of perishibleness.

[antonious]

Granted, but as soon as you open the cheese a million rats and mice appear from nowhere and eat every last bit of it.

I wish that I could find out whats wrong with me.

((You also could have called this "The corrupt wish game."))

[Seth Asathi]

I'll make a wish that can't backfire. I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, -and- I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?
(Had to. Sorry Homer. The turkey is a little dry.)

You find out every problem you have, but it takes up your entire life, you die without solving them. But you did know! And knowing is half the battle!

I wish I was dead! . . . .

[Dundee]

Granted, but as soon as you reach the gates of heaven, the system goes down, and you are forced to live for another decade as a zombie until they fix the system again.

I wish I had another wish!

[Augen]

Okay, but it gets corrupted.

I wish this wish didn't get corrupted... And I had a perfect life.

[Dundee]

Granted. The perfect life is to become the tyrant of the world, and you die because of guilt and an assassin.

I wish I could erase the memory of watching 'Over the Hedge'. No, seriously, for a comic that I grew up on and loved, it SUCKED.

[Daggertooth]

Granted, the memory of 'Over the Hedge' fades as you are forced to watch every season of "Barny" over and over again.


I wish I owned my own cabin and several acres of land.

[Augen]

Granted, but you didn't know about the annual swarm of ckrotch-locusts that have plagued the land for years.

I wish I was free of all external annoyance.

[Seth Asathi]

Granted. You are free of everything anyone ever considered annoying. Enjoy your eternity in limbo.

I wish I had a pony! ><

[Dundee]

Granted. The pony is completely spoiled, and you end up wasting your life savings on it and eventually go poor.

I wish I could dream forever.

[Scarecrow]

Unfortunately, the dreams turn into nightmares concerning giant, maneating pickles, and exploding sheep.

I wish that nobody replies to this message. XD

[Eclectic Replicant]

[nobody talks to you now and you feel horrybly alone]


I wish i where the antichrist.

[Scarecrow]

Crazed christians pummel you to death with crosses.

I wish that a piece of cabbage named Marlon would finally get up the nerve to ask Kelsey the lettuce to the prom. And that she would accept.

[Daggertooth]

Granted, but Durian the rabbit tragically interferes the night before the prom. But they did make for a good meal.


I wish I could find some Blue Cheese for my Salads.

[Augen]

Okay, but the blue is really mold.

I wish I owned a Deathnote.

[Dundee]

Granted, but the assassins coming for you get in a car crash on their way to kill you, so it was all pointless.

I wish I wasn't allergic to any animal!

[Seth Asathi]

Granted, you are now allergic to air.

I wish I owned starbucks...

[antonious]

Granted, but your such a bad bussiness man that you run it into the ground.

I wish that I didnt have these tumors on my back.

[Scarecrow]

Poof. Now there are holes in your back, where they once were.

I wish my brain would stop frying, so that I would stop seeing demon-newty-bat-things climbing up the walls. They're kinda cute, though.

[antonious]

Granted, but in return your no longer able to read Charby the vampirate!

I wish that I could have as much artistic skill as Amelius.

[Seth Asathi]

Granted, but you are now blind so you will never be able to appreciate your own artwork.

[Augen]

Granted. Nothing happens.

I wish people would stop killing the planet.