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Post by Rehiro on Dec 17, 2006 18:03:32 GMT -5
I hate Christmas shopping! I just got done and I dont know if ill ever be the same! I feel so dirty and unclean! I feel like everyone now knows about my phobias and how completely a fraud I am! I feel like everyone has seen through my charade!
I dont in general like shopping one bit. Not one bit! I feel like everyone judges you, and analyzes you and tries to figure out your likes and dislikes based on what you buy. I feel like its always some huge test with a lot riding on it, and your behavior is one of the key elements of the test. I feel vulnerable to the person I am buying from. I dont like asking for help, and for some reason it feels like some admission of reliance. I know they want my money.... but for some reason.... its still hard.
The judgment thing goes down a little around Christmas, because everyone assumes that you are buying for someone else, and you can lose yourself in the crowd..... but still.... its bad.
I feel like everyone I bought from left a little scar in my brain. Oh, how traumatic....
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