Demon Market

[the1truesushiboy]

So, as you may or may not know, it's very common for "YARD SALE" signs to be accidentally misspelled as "YARD SARD". There a lot of pictures of that circulated on the internet. But another common misspelling is this:



For anybody unfamiliar, yales are a mythological creature. They're, more or less, antelopes that have horns that can swivel in any direction. This isn't my picture, but I was thinking about this earlier and it seems like a sign that totally would be at the demon market.

This also makes me wonder what else might be sold there. We've seen a glimpse of it, but the possibilities are vast. If anybody has any cool or funny ideas about that, personally, I'd love to read them. I think if I were a dealer at the demon market, I'd sell charmed items, like an umbrella that will show up at your side if you get caught in the rain, or dream catchers that actually catch dreams so you can watch them later, or a skillet that doesn't burn food. And I'd probably also deal in specialty items not on display, like dragon's teeth, seven league boots, leviathan hide, raskovnik, things like the Pied Piper's magic pipe, any of the dozens of invisibility accoutrements described in mythologies, cornucopia, batrachite, golden apples, mead of poetry, and the kinds of things that dwarves made in Norse mythology. Probably would have Dwarf suppliers. I have an affinity for magical artifacts like that.

Your turn.

[Demon]

wait, what if they are selling the university?

[Amelius]

ohmygosh I love this idea! I actually have a half-drawn Yale (aka Centicore!) in my files, and now you have given me an idea for a picture.

YES I look forward to other replies to this! I'd definitely be a frequent visitor to your shop, those sound like marvelous products. The umbrella and dream catcher especially! I have frequent dreams in the same locations and would like to incorporate some of that imagery, and reference would be nice!

[Demon]

Hold your horses. Golden apples? as in the kind the norse gods ate to live forever?

...Do you take monopoly money?

[the1truesushiboy]

I'm super glad I could help you come up with a picture idea!!!

And that you like the charmed objects ideas! ^u^ I came up with a couple more. Keys that opens any magically-unprotected lock, wind chimes that tell you whether tomorrow's weather will be nice or not, by changing to major or minor chords, and magic stationary that will fold itself into a paper plane and find its destination when thrown into the air.

⁂

Yes, those golden apples. Or any of the golden apples in the tales of Hercules, or myriad fairytales. My reasoning for that is that, since they had to KEEP eating them to stay young (the myth is that the Norse gods started to age without them), and since they were still susceptible to injury, they're probably just a temporary method of restoration of youth. So, not really all that powerful. Plus, they'd have to keep coming back to the seller.

No monopoly money though, sorry.

[Demon]

Aw, well, alright. Fine, I get to keep my monopoly money.

I am of course going to be a jerk and trade trick items, as well as deal in cursed artifacts.
¿So you want that woman's heart? My literal-minded genie will be happy to help you. ¿you want to be rich? this bracelet will turn seconds of your life into coins

This hairpin will help you understand every language there is, but if you take it off you will lose your tongue.
you want to be attractive? have this mask. you will become as beautiful as you like, but everyone will seem hideous to you.

If you wish to live forever I have this golden apple I swiped from that trader over there ;p

[the1truesushiboy]

Hahaha. Well, I did say those golden apples are the kinds of things I wouldn't put on display. I'd be keeping my less attainable wares where they wouldn't be accessible to clientele who can't afford them. Plus, I already know the persona I'd have if I were in the demon market, from the tangential fact that I've erst decided, if I were a creature of lore and existed in the CTVerse, I'd be a draugr, and from that, I promise you, the only way you'd get to lay a hand on anything I'd be selling is if currency first lay on my hand. Of course, I may be overcontemplating the scenario, but CTV does engage my imagination drastically more vividly than other canons, so I tend to speculate with pretty florid, exponentially generative ideas. It's a deeply inspiring universe, for me, personally.

Besides, I get the feeling that, in all likelihood, that kind of behaviour would just likely get you in prison or worse or yet much worse if the rest of the market knew you were up to pilfering goods from the merchants there. I get the impression they wouldn't be keen on letting it slide. Seems like a business plan you might want to rethink.

Though hypothetical theft entirely aside, I do like the ideas behind your products. Would they be things you sell to people who don't know what they do, or things you sell to people wanting revenge and/or trying to teach people a lesson? Or would you just be in it for the money, selling to anybody who pays? I know there are some people I've encountered who've proven to be deserving of some karmic retribution.

[Demon]

find me out? what kind of second rate master thief do you think I am? =p
I could probably find a way to blame everything on you. (MWAHA MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *cough hack*)
E.G I would pay you with golden coins, which you would keep in a box, fascinated by my apparent disregard of money, then one day you would open the box, only to find it full of dry leaves. then as you chased me around I would be all like "HELP! A THIEF!" prompting many of the highly respectable demon traders to side with me, they would award me all your wares, of course =p (yeah, I basically stole that story from the 1001 nights,shush)

I am normal, and not evil or mean in any way, shush =p

So the who I'd sell to would be a most complicated matter. If we are doing the "if I were in the CTVU" I would probably be an OP marty stu (amelius, plz)
if amelius refused to stop beating me up regarding my powers of perfection I would probably be either an ALP or just plain weird
("what are you?" "why, I'm very normal MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH") and sell to those I don't particularly like, often forgetting to mention the downsides to that enchanted eyeball wiper (it wipes your eyeballs, what did you expect?) If I like the customer I will tell them about the very minor setbacks my trinkets have. and of course, this being me we are talking about, I would actually be casting a massive, massive, massive spell by engraving every single item (and coin, and everything) I come across with a minor cantrip that steals a bit of power from everyone who holds the item and then directs it to me. I would then use this power to toast marshmallows. because I can
 

[the1truesushiboy]

Well, as much as that's an amusing scenario, in actuality, there's no chance you'd be able to get the blame on me for attempted theft, let alone get away with trying to give me money that's in any way dubious, surreptitious as its magical traits may be. Like I said, I'd be a draugr, and, subsequently, at least 1,500 years old. I would have a mountainous history of experience in magical artifacts to draw from, 'cause that would be my trade, so I'd be one of the worst possible targets you could try to cheat, since mercantile business would be all that I've done for thousands of years... not to mention draugar are noted as having some precognitive abilities, so I'd be able to see your attempted robbery ahead of time. The whole idea I have for my CTVerse persona is one I've had a long time: a travelling merchant of magical artifacts who's older than even Charby; I've had this character in my head for years. Basically, as far as merchants go, I'd be one you don't have an actual possibility of tricking. Sorry, but maybe there's an unsuspecting Skzzldrix in the market.

Other stuff in a spoiler thing, because it's on a more serious note, and I don't want to disrupt the thread too much:

SPOILER: Click to show

_{I really don't mean to kill the humour of this thread by saying this, but in what you've submitted, with regards to what you've said you'd be trying to do to me as merchant, you've... well, quite frankly, been godmodding those scenarios, which is... honestly, it's disconcerting. I mean, I'm all for some speculative RPing, but with the backstory I've got in mind for the fan-character I've had in my head for so long, I can say with certainty that that persona certainly wouldn't fall for trick gold, certainly wouldn't keep gold simply in just a box (he'd probably have a personal hammerspace portal like Zerlocke's), he wouldn't care about any client's disregard for money, as long as it's legitimate money, and he absolutely would not chase a thief around, because he'd have way more foresight and composure than to do that (and if a draugr were chasing you, you'd die horribly, in all likelihood; they have potential to be disastrously powerful if angry). In any event, with regards to the godmodding, reading things like "you would ___" is jarring and a bit irksome, given it imposes action and character on my persona. Again, I don't mean to suddenly make this thread sullen by taking things too seriously, but, if it's all the same to you, I'd prefer to drop the one-upmanship. I don't doubt that somebody selling cursed artifacts would, by their trade, necessitate being an absolutely masterful shyster, but if expressing that fact is done by trying to undermine the persona I just presented, I'd prefer to not have that back-and-forth dialogue of which merchant would or could outwit the other. It's just really uncomfortable, and it's not fun for me to constantly have reason to defend a character I came up with from things like that. I apologize for suddenly switching gears like this, I just figured it'd be better to address it, at the risk of being rude, before I found myself begrudgingly playing along with subversion of a hypothetical version of myself, just to the end of countering that subversion. I know some people revel in a sort of jesting rivalry to outdo each other, but for me, personally, it's something that can make me very quickly frustrated, and I'm just hoping to steer away from that... I hope that makes sense.}

[the1truesushiboy]

Eh, I guess it's a bit too late then. Sorry.