All About Dimarchai

[aermis]

Hello, my name is Aermis and I have a problem. I enjoy attention more than I should. And I admit that. Another thing I'll admit to? Shyness and a fear of wrath. Which... is pretty much the same thing... shyness... paranoia.... Jesu, I digress.

Hello, my name is Aermis and I have a forum. And a website. And novels. All of which are partially neglected. Only three members on my forum post regularly, my story only gets one review every three months, and no one visits the 'All About Dimarchai' website. Sooo much information... you know you waaant to go. Or perhaps you don't...

Anyway, if you do, the links are here:

All About Dimarchai

Dimarchian Forums

My Novels

^_^ Thank you for putting up with me.

[Flagg]

The very brief (very, very brief, I'm a lazy reader online) part of the first novel on that Novels page seems quite spiffy. : )

The one piece of advice I might offer, with complete care laid into your hands as to whether or not you want to follow it or not, for you surely have no reason to trust me, is that you may want to kill as many of your adverbs as is humanly (whoops!) possible. For example, "“Do not mock me, Serena.” Lakeisha remarked, savagely, smile fading as she did so." would work just as well without "savagely." The action of your story does a great job of telling us just what tone of voice Lakeisha has (I'm sure she wasn't bubbling with glee if her smile was fading), so the adverbs just serve as a seeing eye dog to a person who isn't blind.
The isn't a critique in the least, mind. Just a matter of personal preference on my part. If you feel your writing is stronger with them left in, then by all means take my advice and fling it head-first out the window! : )

[aermis]

I don't believe I do that anymore... you must understand, I started writing this two years ago... the writing style has changed A LOT since then. All the same, thank you for the tip, I'll see if I abuse any adverbs later on. ^_^

[Flagg]

Aaah, I gotcha. Yeah, changing style is (almost) always a good thing. : ) And hey, like I said, don't sweat it if you do. There are much bigger mistakes to make than over-using adverbs.